I should have known. Tweak god's tail and the chances are something's going to slap you in the face and it ain't going to be good. Thanks a bundle Pards. We've signed Todorov - surprising as regards where it leaves us with strikers but might be good. Thought that was the contents of the official newsflash. Seems we've also signed a goalkeeper. Nicky Weaver. How did I know this was going to happen?
Look Al, if it makes you feel good then fine. I will forward to you the fall-out I'll have to deal with and will send my shrink's bills for the next few years. And did you check with Charlton fans about how they feel about him? Well, I guess you took a chance with Ben Thatcher and we were desperate at the time. This time around you are taking chances - not with our loyalty (that's given) but with our sanity.
What else to say? First, I hope the fact we've signed a lard-arse failure who went out of his way to upset us, and who delighted us with his subsequent screw-ups, means that Randolph is the number one choice to start next season.
Second, I hope that Nicky Weaver takes a leaf out of Kevin Lisbie's book and does the opposite when it comes to comments that endear you to the fans. Come on, we're not robots, make us laugh and tell us you didn't mean it and that you've always treasured playing at The Valley - or better still tell us you were looking for a retirement home and have found it.
Third, it would appear that Pards is going to go out of his way and do the exact opposite of whatever I suggest on this blog. So don't, whatever you do, under any circumstances, sign Ronaldinho.