Monday, 21 April 2008

Lyon Duchere Update

There’s good news and bad news from France. Lyon Duchere, in contrast to some other teams, showed they are made of the right stuff with a resolute 0-0 draw away at third-placed Gueugnon. This has to be considered a good result, maintaining the four-point gap between the teams. However, La Duch have for now been knocked off top spot on goal difference by Marseille B, who delivered their expected rout of lowly (and hopefully half-cut) Beaune, winning 4-0. Marseille have a goal difference of +17, Lyon Duchere are on only +12, despite having conceded just 19 goals in 25 games. Will their lack of firepower up front – only 31 scored against 38 by Marseille – ultimately prove costly (as it has for some other teams)?

With five games left to play, the next round, on 26 April, sees Lyon Duchere at home to Dijon Football II (ie their reserves). Dijon lie 12th in the 16-team league. If I knew more about the possibility of relegation from the CFA2 divisions I might be able to suggest whether they have anything left to play for. Let’s assume they haven’t. Marseille are away to ASM Venissieux Minguettes, who surely get the prize for one of the best names in football. Doesn’t exactly conjure up images of a team comprising 11 Chopper Harris’ does it? On second thoughts maybe it does. They are in 8th spot, comfortably mid-table. So the odds favour wins for both Lyon Duchere and Marseilles – but will either slip up as the pressure builds?

Further trawling has unearthed the following information on the Lyon Duchere squad. Details are incomplete (not least as I’m not going to splash out to subscribe to the website service in question to get more info) so there’s a little improvisation where appropriate:

Akim Hassaine: France-born midfielder. With a record of 3 goals in 55 games for La Duch I think we’re talking here more Keith Jones than Colin Walsh.

Alexander Guruli: Forward from Georgia. Seems to have played for the Georgian under-21 side. But a record of 7 goals in 77 games smacks of Carl Leaburn rather than Super Clive.

Antoine Cerveau: France-born, listed as a forward but hasn’t played for the team this season. Sounds like an exciting youngster coming through or a long-term injury-prone shirker (Kevin Lisbie?).

Bassory Ouattara: Forward from Cote d’Ivoire. Bustling and fast, but seems to have made only one appearance so far this season, so can’t blame him for the lack of goals.

Brahim Mecheri: Local (Lyon-born) striker, record reads 17 goals in 51 appearances. Sounds like a regular and one goal every three games for a low-scoring team isn’t bad. But here too it seems more Chris Iwelumo/Luke Varney (both with one in three for us to date) than a Killer.

Daniel Jaccard: Goalkeeper, France-born. Seems to have made 24 appearances for Lyon Duchere, so he’s the incumbent. Defensive record speaks for itself; is he Deano in disguise?

Goran Jerkovic: Forward, born in France. Six games, no goals tells its own story. We are talking Izale McLeod.

Gregory Tissot: France-born defender. 60 games for Lyon Duchere, no goals as yet. He is clearly the rock of the team, holding together what is this season a redoubtable defence. The absence of goals means only one thing: he is their Richard Rufus, waiting to break his goalscoring duck in the most important game.

Josselin Vernus: Listed as French defender, but with no listed appearances he looks like a squad player.

Julien Perraudin: Another Lyon-born player he is listed as a forward. But it’s another unimpressive goals-per-game ratio, just 4 in 51. Let’s be kind and put him down as a winger, La Duch’s answer to Paddie Powell.

Koman Camara: Senegalese forward. No appearances or goals in the league as yet, but seems he played in two cup games and notched one strike. This has to be Chris Dickson itching to get his chance. When will the manager take the plunge and put him in?

Lewis Evoung: Dual nationality (France and Gabon). Midfielder, 28 appearances – but no goals. Hope we’re not talking Amdy Faye.

Olivier Laviolette: ‘Lavy’ as he is know to his team-mates is another local boy. Midfielder with 30 appearances and 1 goal to date.

Sabeur Cherif: French. Known as ‘The Law’, clearly another strong-tackling midfielder with the strength of a Lee Bowyer and the shooting boots of a Darren Pitcher. 42 games and no goals.

Sebastien Theveniaux: French midfielder, veteran of the team with 76 games for La Duch. Has managed 6 goals, so maybe we’re talking Colin Walsh here. Perhaps like him he’ll score when it really matters.

Wilfrid Nanou: Lyon-born midfielder. 86 games – and 3 goals. Obviously forms the key partnership in midfield with Theveniaux. Needs to get in the box more often, but I’m confident there’s another Mark Kinsella here in the making.

Our decision this season to shun the play-offs means that I will have the opportunity to put these theories to the test with Lyon Duchere’s last game of the season. There is, of course, the risk of being a little wide of the mark. It wouldn’t be the first time. Many moons ago I was in Dartmouth for new year with friends, one of whom arrived with some French colleagues. Emerging from the fug of the previous night’s excesses but still wrapped in sleeping bag in an upstairs bedroom I heard the doorbell go. After the initial greetings I heard “this is Henri and this is Michelle”. I called out to a friend to make a large mug of tea and ask Michelle to shed some clothing and bring it up to me. Well, you can guess the rest ....

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

A question BA?

Are this French lot aware of your interest?

Do they know they are now saddled with a Jonah!

Blackheath Addicted said...

Well, as they say what you don't know can't harm you (which has to be the dumbest saying ever - of course it can). I have no reason to believe that the innocent souls of Lyon Duchere have the slightest notion that there is a disgruntled and dispirited Englishman looking to them to provide some end-of-season cheer. Unless Kelly Youga has tipped them off of course. We did get him from Lyon.

Anonymous said...

You sad lot should all be supporting a quality side like Palace-stop slagging them off, at least they are not a bunch of gutless wonders like the current Charlton side.

Jordan maybe a bit dodgy but he has ambition and guile, sadly lacking at the valley

Blackheath Addicted said...

And they say humour is dead.

Anonymous said...

Is "ambition" and "guile" rhyming slang for fake tan and hissy fits?

Pembury Addick

Anonymous said...

BA is there a way of identifying who is making the comments or where they are coming from?

If there is check up the details of that Palace git and I'll pass'im on to me brother. He won't post again.

Blackheath Addicted said...

Steady on chaps. Sounds more like a job for our vicar rather than your brother. Downtrodden minorities tend to group together and convince each other that their crazy ideas are indeed the truth - which leads to cults and then religions.

We should be trying to guide these lost souls. They probably didn't choose to be Palace fans. If we don't engage with them they will never see the error of their ways.

By the way, I don't restrict comments or have any idea who it might be when 'anonymous'.

Anonymous said...

Bring your brother on you sad sod. I'm not a Palace fan, just think it is rich you can give them such grief when you are so crap.

As it happens, I'm a Man U fan and only know your site because my missus is a life long Charlton fan. (yep, she is weirdo as well, good job her sister is easy!)

I reckon you lot will be lucky to stay up in this division next year. Get your "vicar" to start praying now!

Anonymous said...

She's a Charlton fan and married to you.

Two crosses to bear eh?

Pembury Addick

Blackheath Addicted said...

Indeed. Now I can't comment on what passes for dumb in other circles. But if I was cheating on my wife with her sister I'd think twice before boasting about it on a blog which my wife introduced me to - and presumably glances at from time to time.

Man Utd fan with Palace sympathies married to Charlton fan who has a sister. We're not talking massive sample size here are we?

Anonymous said...

Don't be daft-it was a joke! Her sister is a Charlton fan as well.

Fact is, I would like to see you guys in the Premiership, as it is an easy six points for us!

Sames goes for Palace, shame of it is that we would only have you for a season!

I have been to several of your home games this season and there has been some decent play by certain players. But you lack pace, basic skills (passing\keeping a ball!), agression and the desire to win. As it stands, you would get slaughtered in the premiership.

Get a new manager, spend some cash and give it a lash. Then you can be happy on your blog. Even the Penbury Moron

mike said...

"Get a new manager, spend some cash and give it a lash". He's cracked it. I knew we were going wrong somewhere. This should be simple, it happens all the time in Championship Manager.

Anonymous said...

Bet he's sussed world poverty and time travel too.

Pembury Addick

Anonymous said...

BA where are you after this atrocious effort.

I need something to comment on, get banging those keys.

Pardew what a fuckin loose cannon he has become, we were beaten in the air and that is something I will correct next season. Just how many excuses has he dished out in the last five weeks.

Would you BA give him money to buy new players...again. Surely we have to sell first or we'll be like Birmingham under Fry.

He will be our manager next season but hey his actions and comments sure make one wonder.

Write something so I can roar back at it.

Cambridge Addick.

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