'Tis that time of the day and the year that all sensible people have all the cards written, prezzies bought and wrapped, and are breaking into the port. I'm just going straight to the last, there's still time enough for the rest. Christmas morning was made for scrubbing the kitchen floor before heading off for the family lunch, and despite a 1pm kick-off there will be time early on Boxing Day to do the final fumigation of my place to make it as tickety-boo as I can (which ain't saying much) and to get in the bucket-load of lemons (don't ask) that she requires before my French partner Suzanne arrives.
Silly girl knows nothing about planning ahead. She may have all her UK trips for the first half of next year already booked and have done all the necessary for a jolly to Iceland for new year, but she overlooked the need to get here in time for the Cardiff game's early kick-off. Hopefully by the time I make it back from The Valley she will have arrived at my gaff (despite the absence of trains), corrected any minor cleaning imperfections, laid out my cheap(er) cigars from France, and uncorked a decent St Joseph, having lugged both from Lyon (along with other necessities such as a saucisson or two and the good chocolates she gets given each year which j'adore and she doesn't like) with no help from yours truly. Relationships as they say are all about give and take.
Anyway, serves her right, she failed to help me get out of my Xmas present dilemma. The Blackheath charity shops are a source of endless bargains for me - and having gone in one to purchase something for an office Secret Santa thing (happy to say that the teetotaller who received my snakes and ladders drinking game took it in good spirit) I noticed a very good corkscrew (for the record it's called rather immodestly The Perfect Corkscrew). Thought it might make a decent gift and before thinking about the consequences mentioned the possibility to my sister, who seemed delighted to be the beneficiary. It was only after that I took a good look at it. It really is very good, perfect for my use, or to leave in Lyon for when I'm around there. I then came up with a way out: find another corkscrew to give to my sister/brother-in-law and keep the other, they won't know. Only for Suzanne to act as my conscience: "it is not acceptable". Perhaps because of her I do indeed (try to) walk the line, even if one present will tonight be wrapped with gritted teeth.
There ought to be a decent link now to something about football, just to pretend there's some point to the post. But for the life of me I can't think of one, especially as new year is the time for reflection, not now. Other than perhaps to, rather late in the day, wish a Merry Christmas to all Addicks around the globe. Blimey, I must be getting into the spirit(s) of the thing, let's even include fans of other clubs too, just this once.